I don’t think it matters if it’s the makeup on your daughter in Year 11 or the ice blocks with your Prep child, sooner or later your child will try and convince you that you are the ONLY parent drawing a line in the sand on any given issue.
My gorgeous little man hasn’t quite learnt to lie yet (and I hope he never does!) so expecting the truth, when he was pestering me over a particular issue, I asked him:
“If I ask all the other parents, will they really tell me that they allow their child this?”
He looked at me quizzically and changed the topic.
That afternoon he returned to me:
“Mum, I asked all my friends if they’re allowed, and they said they’re not, but you have to try and get your parents to let you anyway!”
And that’s the crux of the issue really isn’t it?!
They know they’re not allowed and yet they use anything in their power be it manipulation, tantrums, subtlety or straight out badgering to get what it is they feel they need.
So with that in mind, I thought I’d put together a few tips on staying strong:
- Work out what it is you really agree or disagree with and for what reason
School rules? Non negotiable.
Keeping the law? Non negotiable.
Bedtime? Sleepovers? Suitable recreation activities? Totally your call. - Get your other parent friends and hold the line together
Feel a bit uneasy about your son wandering Pacific Fair late on a Thursday night? Chances are all the other parents are too, but no one is sure what the other parents are saying or how and why.
So, with that in mind ... - Start forming a parents co-op as early as you possibly can
Swap phone numbers, email addresses, ‘friend’ each other on Facebook….do whatever it takes to know the parents of the children your children befriend. And then, stick together. Decide what you all think on the contentious issues and hold a line together on what you will or will not permit.
You might be surprised how this kind of behavior from parents teaches children relatively quickly that all the ‘kicking and screaming’ in the world will not get them permission to behave in a way that several families have all agreed is unacceptable!
So, on that note, I’m off! There’s some stuff that I’ll need to deal with in the next few weeks and I have to work out how to circle the wagons with my mum and dad friends.
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