Worry is a normal feeling that happens to all of us from time to time. As an emotion, it is our natural response to real and anticipated or imagined situations. We worry about something because we perceive it as a threat and worry causes us to focus on the issue or situation at hand. A little worry can in fact be good for us as it gears us towards taking precautionary measures such as checking the road before we cross or putting on our seatbelt when we get in a car.
We have a shy child. She is the product of two parents who were both chronically shy as children and who are also both on the far end of the introvert scale. (Not that being an introvert automatically means you are shy, nor does being an extrovert make you immune to being shy.) But there she is, your fairly typical shy child, doing her best to make her way in the world.
We love our kids. We want to provide for them, do our best for them and protect them. But sometimes our desire to make them happy and our dedication to looking after them can lead to ‘over-parenting’. With the best intentions in the world, we can over-praise, over-indulge and over-protect our little darlings ... and risk raising self-centred, entitled dependents, unable to think for themselves.
Here are some red flags that indicate you might be raising a spoilt child:
Most of my friends have had the experience of consoling me after I have been dealing with my daughter’s strength. “The force is strong with this one” seems to be a blissful statement that doesn’t even begin to touch on her perception of her capabilities.
I was fighting it hard. But for all my efforts, trying to teach this tiny woman with an iron clad will that she would submit seemed to be useless. I am a fundamentalist. And there was a part of me that believed that ‘good parenting’ meant submissive children. Enter massive issue…..my daughter will not submit, she wants to lead.
My kids have a fantastic book on resilience called “Jilly and the Bully”. But after reading it SO many times (they love it!) I’m wondering if a better title is perhaps: “Jilly and the child that made a really bad choice, but who improved his behavior after she and he spoke and subsequently shouldn’t really be labelled as a bully”?